Hey man, what's cool ??

This one is against all those cheap popsicle arsed poser ba****ds who patronize something not because they like it, but because they saw someone smarter than themselves do the same; or just because every fool does it. Aaah what can i say about them?? they're so pathetic! Ok i deviate.

Rather, It's about some of the popular 'cool' and 'in vogue' things which will make you positively identify one of these camelshit consuming bastards!
Please do shoot them in the face if they happen to be above 22 years of age!

If a guy/girl has more than 3 of these cool thingses to adorn their weasel like personalities, and if they fumble when you ask them why exactly they 'love' what they 'love'; kill kill kill !!

1. effy-wun racing
All those cheap braindead contemporary pub hanging bastards .. Hey man, did you see the latest Formula 1 aaah? Schumacher won and i shagged after that! Bastards. Die.

2. Dream theater
"Aiyyo so fast raaa!! Look at john myung, how fast his fingers are moving!! I can't really understand what he's playing , leave alone the musical part of it, but still, so fast! Must be really cool! Aiyo bastard what are you listening to this slow shit for raaa, i'm cooler i can take wonly dreamtheater! Time to mug up some lyrics of this band... err... what do i mug?? Aaaah! this is easy enough!!

pull me under, pull me under pull me under, my friend! pull me under, pull me under pull me under, my friend! pull me under, pull me under pull me under, my friend! pull me under, pull me under pull me under, my friend!"

God damned bastards. Hunt and kill each one of those.

3. Brazil(before WC)/Italy(after WC final)/ Ronaldo
"Brazil will win! Brazil will win! ------ I told you italy will win! Look? This is the extent of my greatness! I yam shtud!"
And besides, how can anyone with even an elementary knowledge of the game idolize that pregnant douchebag Ronaldo? Kiss my ass, sons of bitches!

4. Zidane bashers
"What's wrang with this zidane, man? He doesn't have even a bit of... errr... sportsman spirit?? I mean... i mean... errr i mean... how can you hit with head on bawdy ra???"
Damned idiots, I'm coming for you, myself. Run, run to your stinking holes.

5. All those bas***s who sy they love philosophising and introspecting; Ostensibly, they prefer intelligence over beauty and all that crap. Try having a logical argument with them. Buy a fucking brain before talking to me, bastards.

6. All those metrosexual gay bastards who'd rather get analy violated than forget their make up. I can never understand you. Maybe because I'm a geek. Anyways, die you assholes, you deserve to be strung up by your dicks.

7. All those bastards who're stupid enough to buy dubious products after seeing some advertisement in the TV, just because their favourite actor starred in the ad, that too so that they beat all their fellow pricks to the act. Believe me or no, there are people like that! And they aren't restricted to some cheap villages too!
Die, motherfuckers. Die die die. Anyways you're hopeless.

8. And i really can't understand those stupid fucks hanging out with their clannish uni-lingual groups in the cheap country garden outside our new hopeless mega mess; I mean how gay is gay enough for these fools?
Needless to say, burn in hell.

9. Those poor souls who make it a point to watch all the episodes of 'friends' in the hope that they'll pick up the moves of the mating dance; And those damned idiots who spend hours chatting with the hope of getting a girlfriend; How lame can their thought processes get? Why all the effort? Can't they go SHAG?? Die.

10. People who dance. I mean, what the fuck?? Who the fuck dances, now aren't there better things to do? Die die die.

More to come in the following days.

WC06finals

It's late in the night and the FIFA WC 2006final's just gotover; Italy, deservingly, won 5-3 on penalties...Well isn't it a sad sight to see a team like France go down on penalties; but that's life; bad, mad and unforgiving; and besides they got there the same way, with a lone Zidane penalty being the only thing of significance in their 1-0 win over portugal... and this final almost threatened to drive me nuts before the strategically tall Matterezi's brilliant header from Pirlo's awesomely placed curling corner... thank god!

But...... what the hell this world cup's been dissapointing. Didn't get to see many goals, the defences are so well oiled and impregnable, and the patriotic fervour... tsch tsch... Cutthroat is the only word to describe the competition;
Besides, another thing with this world cup was that it's become too much of a stage for acting lately; not just the WC, pro football in general, European in particular; Players won't stop at any thing to win; Including those cheap tricks like tactically going down in the enemy box for penalties and going down in the comfortable free kick territory from where stud spot kickers like Pirlo, R Carlos and Bekham have a fairly decent chance;

Sportsmanship, sadly takes the backseat as legions of neo-perfect footballers who can't take losses in their stride battle it out amidst frayed nerves and soaring tempers. Many of them don't bat an eyelid before going down magnificently like a WWII german Stuka dive bomber; well victory is all that counts after all isn't it?? Who gives a fuck about how sporty the match is? Cristiano Ronaldo gotso notorious for this that Portugal didn't get a penalty they deserved when he went down legitemately in the box!! Well a case of crying Wolf too many times eh?? haha!!
Reminds me of how a good thin aerodynamic friend of mine went down when i touched him ever so slightly on his back as he was riding a cycle, boy that was funny!!

Haha.. Anyways.. the ones who miss the penalty... poor David trezeguet was the only man to do it; that too in a final; oh my god. I've missed a few penalties myself and the heartburn that follows it is unspeakable of, atleast for me, and that too in some cheap local match; It'll really murder poor David Trezeguet's pride for a few days, i take pity on him; all the dreaded tags of loser, choker, wimp etc. that the insensitively patriotic french fans will attach to his name just because he was the only guy who missed the spotkick among a total of 9 guys; Oh well the world's getting more unsparing as we progress into this new age of perfection addiction eh??
And about Zidane's headbutt on Matterazi, well I really respect him as a player; in fact he is my fav. ever ever; but i wasn't shocked all that much by what happened; Moments back, a brilliant header which would have immortalized him in World football history was kept out by a leaping Buffon, arguably the best goal keeper in the world. Who the fuck are the media rats to say shit like "oh what a moment of shame" and "Zidane bows out with his head held low" and all that bullshit;
Zidane IS a living legend; and there's no 'good' or 'bad' except slightly relatively; a man must do what he has to do . Besides, he was the captain. Not to forget he isn't very young either. And of course, the injury he picked up. And yeah, it was ~120 mins into the game; a man in his 30s , fished out of retirement to play in this WC, can't be expected to keep his cool in such a grinder of a match for this long!!
Bloody busybodies rule the roost everywhere; after all it's the same money game for them isn't it?? Gain mileage by shocking people. Bastards. That's what leads to every small forgettable disturbance and occurance being amplified to ear numbing proportions until the good old democratic people get sick of seeing the same scapegoat again and again, and viola! it's time for another guy to get publically assasinated for the sake of the TV channels popularity by generating questionable fodder for the stupid gullible masses. God damn assholes can't keep their mouths shut and that's what leads to all this shit. Once again, Fuck the media and hail Zidane. Poor guy smashed his shoulder and was still chugging along when some idiot caught him by his coldspray laden shoulder which must have been hurting quite bad... And that too after all the big mouthed dingbats gave him an almost demigod status... What the hell just a headbutt... Wasn't the red card enough?
Well well, i recall this dialogue from Spiderman; a crappy movie but this rings true for sure" One thing people like more than a hero is to see a hero fall..." Once again, a whole hearted fuck you to all who're out to grab a bite of Zidane.



wherever the god is,.. here's to the great one!!!

Z was the greatest champion ever
But age was thulping poor him
The monkey though that he was a feather
"Let's down him for the sake of our win!"
Z kept his calm, Z walked along,
But each man has this limit...
Z's was stretched far and long,
And the monkey, the dirt did he hit!
All the sickly vultures, flying overhead
Smellt the lion's blood in the air
Swooped down on poor Z, tore him to shreds,
They squealed, and did they swear!
Z was dragged and forced to bow down
After all, he ain't no superman...
Monkey walked off with cup and crown,
Proud of his dirty li'l plan!

THE BAR TOO FAR

Doubtless, ye all must have heard of those awesome Warry epic stories like "the bridge too far" , and "the Field too wide" and all that crap. I'll hic.. add on to those... with my own epic booze and violence centered western themed plot; Which I intend to make a movie on sometime in the near future when I have enough money for it.
(*The following sentence is, under no circumstances to be construed as a disclaimer*
It's been my lifelong ambition to make a movie so cheap that all those shameless mediocre directors who dish out substandard stuff when I'm desperate for a good movie die of utter inexplicable shock after watching my hopelessly cheap movie)

The bar too far
Long long ago, in the old texan town of Horsemouth.

Me: "Motherfucker... where's the booze around town?"

Innocent Tom: "Who you calling a motherfucker, you..you..you.. son of a" *BANG... BANG...*

Me: "Bitch.." *Blows off the cordite fumes from his smoking dual SmithnWesson .357 6 shooters."Motherfuckers can never talk straight business ever... When... will they learn? Better have learnt by the time they are reborn into this land"

Maria the Buxom: "It's a dry day, my lord"

Me: "Gawd damn motherfuckers.. Where's the freaking sherriff"

Maria the Buxom : "The sherriff prolly heard those shots, muh lord..He must be comin down here with the ol' posse any minute now. You're in deep, deeeeep trouble muh lord."

Me: "Alright old bitch. Beat it before I put daylight through you."

Maria the Buxom: "No!! Insulting, me, the sherriff's own wife!! I'm gonna see to it that you hang from that old oak down there at the village square! You !" *BANG*

Me: "Bitch." *BANG* "God damn slutty harridan couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut"

Sherriff: *Skreech. Skreech*"You intoxicated bastard, you killed my wife"

Me: "Oh yeah? Do you happen... to harbour any plans... to join her in the roadside ditch?? " *BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!*" "Shit... too many of em... gotta make a run for the bar!"

Sherriff: " You bastard where are you riding off to? You hit me.. I'm dying AArgh.. blurg blood!!! Goldsmith! After him.. Blurg blurg!"

Me: "All i wanted was some god damn booze and you retrogade old town fools couldn't talk straight What's wrong with you jerks ?"
*Reloads, takes a swig of ye ol' 666 original Scotch, whips back and**BANG!BANG!BANG!*

THE BAR TOO FAR
hitting theatres somewhere around christmas. Now which Christmas... is something you gotta wait and see.

*BANG*

Why I'm mad about gaming.

* I tend to equate my helpless enemy to the people I loathe, and so it's a release to my anger and frustration, especially this new game Condemned, where you get to beat people up to pulp, that too with long pipes, iron rods, wooden planks with nails, sledgehammers etc.

* Bored, Sick and tired of how the world around me really is, and playing puts me in a much cooler looking and more interesting virtual world, and I like the change

* As long as it's there, it's a much better alternative to going on a selective, planned killing spree and then shooting yourself between your eyes with your last bullet.

* I like how the good always win, unlike in real life.

* I like the mindgames rewarded by victory and crushing the enemy's ego.

* I like the gore ,blood effects and I patronize the designers, I hope I get to try out my hand in that job in a small way someday.

* I get to live lives which I could only have dreamed about

* Sometimes, I even get to live in an ideally modelled futuristic world, and that's cool, because I want to zoom through space fragging aliens with burst lasers and recoilless prototype long range cannons :PP

* I prefer chaos over order

*I got an nvidia 6600 GT :P

* Stuff like my eyes will get screwed/ my life will be cut by 10 years blah blah are too fucking lame for excuses against why not to play;

* You get to mother the vain strutting supervillains who've taken it for granted that they can get away with injustice because they are powerful and have a corrupt army of sycophants gunning for the post of most "favoured ass licker" worshipping them.

* I'd rather be a soldier who can load when he dies than what my College thinks I should be.

* I like stories and it's better if you are the protagonist. Most modern games are much more fun than most movies actually. Except if the movie happens to be of the calibre of Saving Private Ryan ! Oh that scene in which the flak 88 rips off ! man!!

But... At the end of the day, I'm fragging away 6-8 out of my ~14-16 hours awake, everyday.. So I guess I'm gonna reduce my killing time to just 3 hours per day from now on.:D